"He can't pester you while he's off bird watching can he?"

Hello uncle Bob?

Yes? Is that you Nathan?

Yeah, I'm just calling to say I'm bird watching.

Great, well I'll just leave you to get on wit-

Ooo! There's a bird..... And another one.

Aww that's nice. Take some pictures if you see some more.

Wow, there's a bird. I didn't kill her you know.

What did you say?

I said there's another bird Uncle.

Oh.

I'm not watching birds actually. I fucking hate birds. I like Mammals. I fucking hate Mammals. I haven't even taken the lense caps off these bi-oculars...... Uncle? Uncle? Reminds me of that Ronan Keating concert I went to. So much blood.