Now smile nicely Dorothy. You know Mummy doesn't like the Anakin Skywalker grimace from the podrace scene in The Phantom Menace.
But Mum, I don't wanna smile.
And why not?
Because Uncle Jeffery touched me in a wrong way.
What do you mean darling?
Last night, Uncle Jeffery told me to sit on his lap and then he reached down and touched my-
Silly little Dotty. What's wrong with you?! On Christmas Day telling filthy lies about Uncle Jeff like that. Don't be a silly girl. Don't you know lies make baby Jesus cry?
But he did Mum he-
NO! NO! NO! I won't hear of it! My brother did no such thing! He is not a paedophile or sex criminal! You bitch! This is why you are going to borstal!
But Mummy please...
BORSTAL!!!
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